Goal Setting at the start of Coaching

Goal Setting at the start of Coaching (insights from NLP, adapted)

1.     State things in Positive terms, especially your goals

a.     Not Stop Smoking; Instead Be Smoke Free!

We are motivated towards pleasure, away from pain

Problem is when pain is reduced you stop doing anything further.

However, when you make your goal positive you feel more pleasure when you get closer to the goal.

2.     State your Goals in Specific terms – specify current situation and future state, and identify the gap to be bridged. If you don’t know where you are going, you will never get there. Be clear, and confirm clearly what are the positive outcomes you want.

3.     Specify the evidence procedure – what is the evidence or milestones you want to see that you are progressing on the ‘markers’. Unconsciously, you will start working towards these markers.

4.     Ask and clarify, ‘What’s in it for me?’ check the congruence on this. How important is this goal amongst other priorities?

5.     You must take full accountability for your Goal, not someone else, although it may be someone else’s idea. Unless you are vested, you will have difficulty. You can take help from others, but the outcome must be owned by you.

6.     Is your Goal properly Contextualized? Ask the 5W and 1H questions.

7.     Identify the resources you will need to support you meet your goals. Example, I need to have confidence. So when will you have confidence? When I see results. That’s a catch 22. What about, if you ask, suppose you assume you have all the confidence you need.

8.     Review the ecology of the pursuit of your goals. It would be a lot easier to achieve your goal, if self and others and universe benefit from achieving the goal. Whom do I have to become to achieve this goal, and does the new me, has great benefits for me and others?

Talks from Jiddu Krishnmurthi - On listening

Talks from Jiddu Krishnmurthi

What is the ensuing relationship between the teacher and the student, when both realize they are conditioned, culturally and deeply? What takes place then?

Our conditioning is part of our self-centeredness. What happens when we both become aware of our mutual self-centeredness? When both are ‘caught in a similar trap?’ What is the actual relationship then? It is only through this understanding of the ‘conditioning in self and other’ that an authentic bond can be formed. How can one trust the other, and establish a mutually supported goal and responsibility to cause dissolution of the individual conditioning.

Part of the conditioning is Ambition we have for ourselves, one form of that is the search for success. Success gives us security. It gives us pleasure. When self-centered ambition drives our behavior in relationship with the other (for instance with Spouse, etc.) it creates division. Where there is a division, there is no relationship.

Both the student and the teacher come together pre-conditioned. Is the teacher concerned with the subject, or concerned with overall holistic development of the student. 

At the core, is responsibility. In that, Listening to the other is a fundamental aspect of caring and loving. One cannot listen, when one is prejudiced.