Leadership for re-emerging India

Change is constant, we all know that. It's the unbelievable complexity that creates the anxiety, the uncertainty. In my work, as an Executive Coach, working with Senior Executives I sense a fair degree of fragility with clients - the belief, that if one breaks, one would not be able to put back in place ever again. This fragility of 'self' coupled with perceived 'insensitivity' from the other (no one really understands me) creates the havoc. This havoc becomes the new normal, and taken as given.

It is not enough for the individual to manage the change, nor is it enough, for work groups to transition across such volatile times. At a systemic level, the pressure is intense on the 'actors', exerting pulls and pushes on the multiple actors. Seeing things from multiple perspectives is vital to increased awareness.

It is not enough to manage change, just at the level of the individual, though quite a lot can be achieved there. Systems Thinking and its application needs to be applied. The western world has for several decades now harnessed this well - individuals working in collaboration, in virtual groups, to create dramatic changes to the landscape. A path is forged, initially by the adventurer, later by early followers, then by others, till it finally becomes the default route. The time now, In India, more than ever before, is to tap on the collective will of commercial collaboration. It would be useful to have at the skyline, a vision of nation building!

In order to exploit the demographic dividend, of a re-surgent Asia (barring 1700 - 1900 AD Asia was always resplendent, both commercially and culturally), we perhaps need to focus even more on 'eternal truths' that have stood up for us. Given this, we need to focus on building TRUST, the essence of all brands, and in everything we do, both in relationships as well as in the products and services we sell. We need to be even more CREATIVE to be on a continuos learning journey, to adapt to new paradigms, and shift our thinking, feeling and modes of acting. We need to be even more respectful to ourselves - our well-being, as well as respectful to others. This includes respect for beliefs, traditions, culture. Ever more, Inclusion and Diversity needs to be lived with. We will continuously face the new, confusion and ambiguity will reign, but we must continue to believe that 'this too shall pass'.

Rather than START doing, something new, I would advocate, we STOP doing several things. That we stop doing all the things that act as barriers to our more deeper capacity to grow and enrich. The shift that we seek is not out there, but within.

On Conversation

Take Care of your Conversations (and your conversation will take care of you).

Think about it. What is the one thing we do the most every waking day? That takes a disproportionate amount of time. That’s right – it is talking. Talking, either to someone (either another person or a pet), and largely self-talk, the conversations we have with ourselves. It is estimated that on an average a person spends about 5000 words in self-talk.

We think that when we are not talking, we are listening. For most of us, we either Talk, or are in a mode of ‘waiting to Talk’.

 Consider that when one is talking, one is not paying much attention to thinking before talking, so most of the thought process emerges as part of the rambling talk. Then we meander around, and try and collect our thoughts, even while we continue to speak without a break. So instead of a short crisp relevant response, it becomes a tirade of words – unstructured and thoughtless. Several years ago I witnessed two people talking (both lawyers). One was posing a question and the other tool long pauses before replying to the question. In between there were long silences, chin rubbing and silent eye contact. It was beautiful to see two people engaged in a real conversation, both well connected.

Again when we are listening to the other, are we really? More often than not, the listening is just a polite pretense. One is just waiting to ‘speak again’.  For while we are waiting for the other to wind down, we are too absorbed in listening to the cacophony of our own self-talk, an inner dialogue, that is always going on unceasingly within, “yakety-yak’.

In moments like this, ask yourself a question and be honest with yourself, ‘why do I want to talk?’ what purpose does it serve? Why not be silent? Silence I believe is the strongest speech.

I would like to argue that if conversation is what you are having most of the time, should we not try and be good at it? All our conversations lead us to a feeling outcome: either positive or negative. Our brains are programmed to maximize rewards (pleasure seeking) and minimize pain. If we do want to influence the other does it not make sense to determine what does one need to do to support an energetic conversation. Even more importantly, how does one handle difficult conversations, some even crucial conversations.

For a conversation is not just an exchange of ideas and concepts, just a mind thing- it is more. It is also about evocations and feelings; connecting with trust.

A great conversation satisfies the human desire to both Express and Relate. When good conversations happen, it allows rich reflection of the past, and converts to insights and wisdom. When delving into the tomorrow, it allows for imagination, but adds to it inspiration.

Do take care how you converse. If you do, your conversation will take care of you!

Leadership Development

Individual Leadership matters, Context event more!

Over the past several months as a Leadership Consultant, it

seems, to me, that there is a lot of emphasis placed on the Leadership behaviors demonstrated by the individual. That is indeed a good starting point. Over these years I gather there are few areas on which Leadership Skills/Competencies get built:

1.     Through skills acquired that soon form into unconscious competencies.

2.     An ability to use a wider range of Leadership styles flexed for context and purpose.

3.     Purposeful creation of a work climate, which supports clarity, task focus, team spirit, flexibility, and meaningful rewards and outcomes to all involved.

4.     A learning agility and personal discipline that allows one to navigate even through ever new & ambiguous events that arise from systemic complexity.

5.     A learned optimism and feeling of control from within.

6.     A deep self-awareness of self and ‘other’ and actions that come from awareness.

7.     A deep respect for self, the other and a purpose that goes beyond.

That said, Leadership effectiveness is also a function of Context. We are after all, part of a system, and unless we grasp the dimension of the larger system, we will continue to work, ineffectively in one part of it, and unsuccessfully. All parts are ‘man made’ divisions to support analysis, but it is only through synthesis that we can hope to fully understand. A change in one part, has an impact on all of the parts, and unless we grapple with the full system (both closed and open), we at best change one problem to another (it does not go away – it simply changes it shape). We substitute one issue with another.

Context is not just ‘situation’. The context or larger system itself can create phenomena that cause an issue. Let me change that, the issue is not caused, it is perceived. That said, if we are to solve a problem (whether at an individual level, or at an interpersonal level, or at a work group level) we may need to work at the systemic level especially if we discover that at each substratum level, the issues seem to be across industries and work groups. It is systemic. Given that the individual itself, and the workgroup (consisting of individuals again), and collectivity (individuals of several sub-groups itself), are all part of the system itself, it calls for a simultaneous ability to reflect at that outside and to reflect within at once. To see the emerging Gestalt, for what it is. As J. Krishnamurthy said, 'the observer is the observed'.

An event to be understood is to be seen not just at a phenomenological level, but also at the intra-personal and inter-personal, even more at an intra-psychic level, further to that at an intra-existential level. In that, the drop falls into the ocean, or as Kabir, before he died, with great sagacity, changed his final verse to, 'the ocean falls into the drop'. Leadership then is not a journey, a search for a promised Xanadu:in fact Leadership is to be discovered within, in the wholesomeness. 

Leadership is as much about inspiring individuals and workgroups as it is about re-contextualizing. At an individual level, it will call for re-socialisation and re-culturalisation, and deeper self-awareness.

Fundamental to all of this, is what Zarathustra explained as the will to power. 

"And as the lesser surrenders to the greater, that it may

have delight and power over the least of all; so the

greatest too, surrenders and for the sake of power,

stakes itself." 

Recipe for improving Relationships

We are in the age of 20:20 Cricket – all of us want quick solutions to our everyday problems, and instant results!

Here is a quick recipe for Feeling better, improving Relationships

Try these:

1. 1.    Say Please, Thank You, I am Sorry, I am Grateful as often as you can and to as many as you can.
2. 2.    When you are tempted to say, “try this…”, instead say, “what do you think?’
3. 3.    When listening to someone put forth a point of view, listen to his unique perspective, on it, rather than judge it for what’s right or wrong.
4. 4.    Avoid responding to what has been said, till you have given it full thought, “hmm, that’s interesting, I did not see things this way”.
5. 5.    Use Silence and eye contact, and facial expression to communicate for you instead of Words.
6. 6. When you have a negative emotion, try and observe your breathing: its pace, quality, etc. It will reveal itself to you.
7. 7  Close your eyes a few minutes each day, and try and listen to the sound of 'one hand clapping'.
8. 8. Try to answer the questioner, rather than the question asked. In what is said, lies the unsaid, and the also said.
9. 9. When you 'See it, Say it" - acknowledge behavior
10. Share your heart with the living, when the living lives, not when they are dead.

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Diagnosing / Assessment in Executive Coaching

Association of Bangalore Coaches

February 19

Join Steve Correa 630 PM on 21 February Thursday at Christ University. Come strike or no strike, ABC goes on, free with tea! cheers ram

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Steve briefly outlined the key differences between Coaching with Consulting, Counseling, and Mentoring.

He argued that the way we think, feel and act creates our reality and the experience of it. That all of us carry a ‘map’ inside, that is shaped also by how we want to be seen by society. Essentially then, we each become what we have ourselves designed – we deserve what we get.

Steve emphasized that the first step is to realize this. To become aware of our thoughts, feelings and behavior at all times. All change begins with this. You need to know, ‘what you don’t know you don’t know’. It is only then can one move to Right action.  He then went on to explain the Coaching Philosophy and stated as under:

The client owns the problem, the outcomes, the current reality, the data on the current reality, the pieces of the current jigsaw - it is for him / her to intervene and make the self-disclosure. It is for him to own the insight, and to open up the possibilities of options, to weigh each of the options and select, the path ahead to the desired outcome. Also, to set a roadmap and milestone for the way. The role of the Coach is the mirror.

Steve pointed out that in order to widen the perspective, the client must examine several systems – the interpersonal, the intra-personal, intra psychic and also intra existential. Through deeper and wider personal enquiry (aka reflection), the client begins to get a deeper understanding around Who am I? What am I? How come I think, feel and act this way? This introspection allows the client to review the multiple identities he has ‘acted’ from, and the multiple ‘roles’ he has played and continues to play. By and by he comes to realize, that many roles were played with ‘handed down rules, diktats and belief systems’. In this process the client learns to examine his own belief systems, his own hidden assumptions, and his preferences to act and think in a particular way.

Steve argues that, in every event (location) it offers choices to act, within the role. Given these choices, how do we act? Do we relate with Spontaneous awareness or with compulsivity, and wherein is this source? Steve comments that over the years the Self (the atman) takes on various identities, multiple personas, that form our personality. Steve argues that our personality is constructed – it is not our true nature. Right action he argues springs from being located at one’s core, not displaced to the left or the right (the extremes). Here there is an awakened response, and freedom from diktat of the ‘role’.

The ego comes from the ‘identity’ wishing to perpetuate itself – it is the shadow of the self. The ego is the property of the mind. Unless we ‘lighten up’ the shadow, it will not fall away. Acceptance of one’s nature (self) and acting from one’s location is freedom and responsibility. To ‘expect’ from a role, either ourselves or from others is to eventually be disappointed. ‘Accept, not Expect’ he argued.

The coaching process is to help client articulate the inarticulate, act the withheld, own the disowned, and to make that which was invisible, visible. Truly then, the role of assessment tools and diagnostics is not to get an understanding of what is. For what is, is what is not. The tools are ‘devices’ to support crucial conversations that offer an understanding around the way we think, feel and act. By itself there are ‘chess boards’ – either just wooden pieces to some, or a complete action dynamic for someone else. It is awareness that makes it one or the other.

Using diagnosis tools, or Assessment tools then could be either an invitation to explore one’s personal interiority and the relationships with others and society. Used as an indictment, to label someone, ‘this is you’ would be a violation. At the core, the tool is for the use of the client, and not for the coach or worse the organization to make ‘decisions’.

Steve went on to share personal experiences of several tools that he has been using, and familiar with – self assessment, 360 feedback, psychometric tools, Getalt, NLP, etc. He tasked about tests to check multiple proficiencies, etc, also to gauge multiple intelligence, etc. The participants in the programme also shared their experiences in using some of these tools. Steve also spoke about leading service providers, SHL ( he is an SHL assessor), SHRM and NTL as a few examples of what they do.

Steve pointed out that the list of tools and assessment go up each day, with dozens being added. He cautioned again, that the tools were mere devices – the whole purpose is to lead to the ‘jump site’ – it is the fall that does it, not the device. Either a climb up 88 steps, or a move to the cliff – it is the fall that does it, the clients’ own surrender – the plunge. His own commitment to growth. The role of the coach is to hold the space, to be the calm in the storm. The coach and the client become one. The musician and the instrument disappear, just the music remains, the dancer disappear, only the dance remains. It is only when client experiences the ‘ah ah’ moment that truth is experienced and deep insight follows.

Several questions and reflections were made during the talk and post it. Someone asked, how important is one tool to another, how does one choose? Steve shared that each tool lends itself more readily to a context, but that’s not the point. He argues that any tool would do eventually. For when the learner is ready, the learning begins, when the student is ready, the master arrives. Steve added that of all tools, meditation was to him, the best.

Someone asked about Silence and the role it played. Silence and Deep listening he argued were the two key competencies of Coaching, he argued.

Several Coaches who were present (D.Harish, Dhruva Sen) also shared their reflections on the talk. They were some very young audiences – students who asked a few questions.