Existentially Speaking

Existentially Speaking

Who am I is the secondary question, that springs from the more insistent question – What am I? As we go on answering what we believe is the first question, it only leads to the answers to clarifying the second question – What am I? To any answer, if we put the additional question – who is asking this question, it seems to point out to the fact that, I am not this, not that. (Neti Neti).

The questioner is the question itself – the question is one where a doubt is projected as if outside to itself. As long as there are questions, it clarifies that there exists doubts. As one question is answered another question replaces the earlier question. Every question hides within it, a belief that the answer will confirm a particular notion, held already by the questioner. He / she seeks validation. This is a double bind. If the answers confirm the notion, doubt remains. If it is contrary to a notion held, it raises fresh doubt. Like this, we go on asking questions – sometimes to others, more so to ourselves.

The question is a thought. A thought exists if it is attractive or repulsive – it must have an emotional appeal. With millions of thoughts, we linger around but with only a few. That which we are attracted to, lingers; that which haunts us, chases. Both stay.

Thoughts arise from the mind. The mind is duality. It looks for analysis, discrimination. The mind is built for doubt. For all that is held with certainty, within it lies a small speck of doubt. And for all that is held in doubt, within it lies a speck of certainty. It is not opposites – it is one: a continuum. This needs to be understood.

It is futile to answer the question: it will go on changing. Rather, the focus should be on the questioner – answer the questioner, not the question. For in every question, something is asked, not asked and also asked. A question is located in context, and answering a question without understanding the context is useless.

Trust replaces doubt. While the mind cannot trust, the heart never doubts. The mind responds to the outside, confirms actions within a boundary of assumptions, and lapses back in doubt, when the assumptions change. The assumptions themselves are held in doubt. Trust is located within oneself. It offers itself to existence almost as to say, ‘thy will be done’.

Trust connects and engages. To trust one needs to be intelligent. All other responses come from the intellect calculated for outcomes, but married with doubt. To trust another, begins with first trusting oneself.

Remember, the self (the ego) is the mind itself, whose prime purpose is to ensure its perpetuity. A self  that enquires perpetuates it existence. As long as there is desire to answer questions - the ego will exist. When the questions drop, the ego drops.