Friday 24 April 2015

Rajesh's retirement plans... what's yours?

Rajesh sat back on his cane sofa and heaved a sigh as he looked across at his wife Neeta across the room, who was busy sorting out her wardrobe.

It had been a while since the two of them was alone at home. Two months ago they had a similar moment, now was one more such occasion. To both of them these were treasured moments.

Rajesh reflected on the last ten years that had gone by post his retirement. It had changed so dramatically. He had superannuated as a Head Time Office Supervisor from a steel plant at Jamshedpur.  His elder son, Binoo had moved across to Nagpur and was working in procurement in a construction firm. Binoo had been married for 5 years  to Mamta and had a two year old son, Sachin.

Rajesh’s second son Rakesh, a year younger to Binoo was based in Chhindwara working as a clerk in a mill.

It seemed then, that post retirement, it would be the perfect thing to buy a house in Nagpur large enough for the entire family to stay together under one roof.  Would that not be ideal, he thought as he broached the idea with Neeta. Many well wishers had questioned his decision as this would at one go put all of his life’s savings into this one big investment with very little money left in the bank for drawing upon for personal expenses.

Binoo and Rakesh were all delighted with the idea. It would save them the expense of rent, and after all they would all be living again under one roof and take care of each other. Mamta was most delighted too. She felt that this might give her an opportunity to get back to a working career once more, a break she had taken since the past two years. After all, they were all one family and expenses for the household would be shared by both Rakesh and Binoo.

That was then, a decade ago. How life had changed since. The joint family magic lasted for just six months, then melted away, like as if the package was taken off, and just the rot remained. Mamta’s plan to get back to work evaporated when she discovered she was pregnant again. Rajesh and Neeta delighted at the prospect of being grandparents again had generously offered to move out of the master bedroom and exchange rooms with Binoo.  Not surprisingly, this offer was accepted promptly.

A year later Rakesh got married to Sunitha. He was keen to have a larger room now and both Rajesh and Neeta requested him to take their room, and they would move over to the smallest room, in their three bedroom flat. They did not mind over the years moving from the large master bedroom, first to the second bedroom, and now to the guest room. What was really annoying was the fact that the washing machine was placed in their bathroom, and often they would have the rest of the family trooping in and leaving them with little privacy.

Rajesh and Neeta would enjoy taking an evening walk together and catching up with others in the park. However, as the household work increased, they could find very little time to be together. From cooking, to helping the children they had little time to catch their breath during the day.  From a quiet peaceful life they enjoyed at Jamshedpur for several years, this seemed like being in the middle of a typhoon each day, with occasional family under currents and misunderstandings  that are bound to crop up when so many find themselves living together.  As much as Rajesh and Neeta tried to avoid adding to the misunderstanding, their occasional comment or lack of it would create added tension.

Rajesh breathed deeply as he thought deeply. His retirement plan did not exactly work out as he had planned. He wondered if things would improve, but doubted it would.


Readers, what is your retirement plan?

Sunday 19 April 2015

Retirement Plans put to work....


Jagged streaks of lightning illuminated and betrayed dark threating clouds moving ominously across the grey skies. A gusty wind raised a cacophony of a banshee howling amidst the winds. The clouds broke suddenly, hailing rain drops down furiously to the ground. A dry earth rapidly quenched its fill then overflowed.

Ramu, the pavement peddler, hurriedly lifted his basket to his head, opened his oft repaired umbrella, and shielded himself but unsuccessfully in the downpour.

It was July, monsoon season in Mumbai. The Place: Worli Seaface.


Ramu crosses the road, to Gulita, the reputed training centre of an MNC where I worked as Corporate Training Head. Under a large tree, near the main gate he stood shivering. I happen to be under the tree myself, smoking a cigarette and we strike up a conversation, as two strangers would or would not do, in such strange circumstances. We both knew each other for a year now. I had often stopped during an evening walk to buy peanuts from him.

At some point, I ask him, “I don’t see you sell much of the peanuts/channa through the day. In the afternoon I actually see you having a siesta, and most evenings I have found you give away the unsold food to the beggars”. Why not sell something else?

Ramu smiled, and answered, ‘ Actually, I am retired. I live with my son and his wife and two sons”. 

He continued,” I was working as a driver with an MNC and have saved some money for my retirement.”

"Post my wife dying, I moved to my son’s home. Rather than give him a part of my money, I have chosen to give it to them each day. They believe that I do good sales each day. The money is welcome, as my son is struggling at present, and my income is appreciated."

"I feel I am contributing to the family, and it allows me to live with respect with them. Any shortfall in income I make up from small withdrawals I make from my bank account."

Soon the rain lessens in fury and changes to a light patter. The clouds quickly clear and the sun shines through once again.


I walk back to my office thinking, Ramu clearly had thought through his retirement plans.


What’s your retirement plan?

Saturday 18 April 2015

Building a case for Diversity and Inclusion

Building a case for Diversity and Inclusion


"Fellow males, get onboard. The closer that America comes to fully employing the talents of all its citizens, the greater its output of goods and services will be," Buffett wrote. 
He goes on, “Too many women continue to impose limitations on themselves, talking themselves out of achieving their potential,"


In India women representation in the workplace is abysmal, let alone in Leadership roles. While there are cases of a few companies who have bucked the trend, the gender balance has improved but no on leadership roles.


A lot can be done. Research is available on the challenges women face. There are some clear What and How’s that can be put in place.  

Seems to me that the conditions to promote this agenda is best served when:

1.     When there is authentic commitment and sponsorship by the top management.
2.     Effective sensitization of the middle managers that women talent adds to diversity, creativity and makes a compelling Business Case and more importantly it is the right thing to do.
3.     The organization needs to promote work enablement policies which are employee friendly available to both men and women. Examples are Work Flexibility in working hours, Working from Home, etc. Maternity and Support Services should be well engineered to help ‘vulnerable’ women doing key phases in their career.
4.     Especial attention on Mentoring and Coaching to High Potential Women
5.     Creating awareness of differences that men and women have to how they respond to workplace issues (eg: Flat versus Hierarchical structure, Process Versus Goal Focused, Linear versus Multi tasking, Relationship versus Competition), etc.  For more read Dr. Pat Heim
6.     Ted Talks has some wonderful videos from Sheryl Sandberg that is worth sharing within the organization.

Truth is, that the What and the How is the easy problem to solve. The Hard Problem is to ensure commitment and first from the Leadership team.  How best to do this?

In my experience the best method is an Immersive experience. Quite recently at an off site  workshop bringing out the essential differences Women and Men bring from their primary systems to their secondary systems helps bring up exploration and awareness of how each of us are wired differently and how we have responded to social mirrors, that have essentially created for us our paradigms. Reviewing how women talk to each other, and how men talk to men, and how the differences show up in interactions when men and women engage either one on one or in a group.

This followed a few skits enacted by participants that showed men and women at work, and with creative license, highlighting the differences and cross wires that take place. 

Then followed a flash file that shared facts – Did You Know? This covered Gender representation at the workplace, etc and Global trends. The clip ended with, Now you Know, What are we going to Do about it?

Through the dialogue that ensured, participants raised questions, explored the context, the assumptions and issues. A one word adjective sought from each one as to how they felt about this confirmed heightened commitment and a call for action. 

That’s it. I ask you readers, to bring attention to Purpose. ‘Why’ is the key area to focus on. When the why is clear, the what and How appears by themselves.

Further videos/ reads:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ1dZzwaKr4
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPZ6pFJ1D-c
www.youtube.com/watch?v=18uDutylDa4
http://chartsbin.com/view/4319

Women and Men are equal but they are wired differently.Women want to build relationships by sharing personal information; men want to establish the relationship between each other by trading views, opinions and anecdotes (and so concealing personal information). While women strive for ‘dead even’ rule between themselves, men strive for a place in the pecking order in the hierarchy. Women enhance their world by communication and collaboration; men through competition. Men tend to enjoy working sequentially, while women are at home multi-tasking. Men tend to systematise most things in an analytical manner, women wish to empathise mostly in the situation. While men wish to find their 'place' in a situation, women tend to wish for a Utopia: to establish the greater good for all. Men should other team members on functionality and need ( with little regard to interpersonal), women on the other hand tend to choose basis the relationship they have with the others.  

Even the way brands target women is different to men. Brand communication to women ted to inspire, encourage and support women as they try and create Utopia. On the other hand brand communication directed towards men play up the achievement impulse. The messages tend to support communication around enhancing ability to compete framed through user imagery or product advantage

Wednesday 8 April 2015

True Nature of Reality

What is reality as described my the mystics/masters mostly from the East?

They allude to the one energy that exists that is what everything is part of. The Brahman, Tao, Truth,


The interesting comment is that this energy is

  • -       never born never dies (eternal)
  • -       every where, every time, every when
  • -       Alpha and Omega exists simultaneously
  • -       is conscious of itself (has awareness)
  • -       is wholesome in all forms
  • -       Contains all (what we call Good, Bad and Ugly)
  • -       is blissful – sat cit ananda, which is same as Satyam,                 Shivam and Sundaram
  • -       All forms are manifest and a function of intensity of                    energy.
  • -       Subtle energy is high, gross energy is low.
  • -       Never depletes, just changes its form
  • -       Exists in the waking, dreaming and deep sleep stage.                 Finally Turiya. (Mandukya Upanishad)
http://www.swamikrishnananda.org/mand/Mandukya_Upanishad.pdf
So then an obvious question is why do I feel miserable? The obvious reply is that the mind confuses, it creates the illusion, the maya. It distorts reality. It creates a duality in viewing things. It creates the ying and yang, the good and the bad, the small and the large. 

The mind exists in the brain, which is split. It is dualistic. It is a fact that some parts of the brain is dominant when responding to a few things and other parts are more dominant to other things. As you see even more distinctions, you experience greater degree of separateness: the self from what is out there.


At its core, meditation allows the integration of the two sides of the brain. The alpha waves are at its highest (the amplitude is higher, the frequency is lower). When you are in flow, unmindful of all else, the learning is best, making connections happen best, you are most relaxed, responses of fight and flight reduces. In short, you get smarter.  This leads to Theta wave cycle, then the delta waves.


Remembering ‘In the world, but not of it’ and ‘Emerging of the world but not to it’. These two notions support the view that all is created in the mind, you are making this up, and that you can make something up else. The fact is that we get attached to what we make up – attachment or identification (Gurdjieff). Attraction and repulsion to these thoughts occur. Having expectations rather than acceptance creates the whirlpool. Anxiety comes from the resistance.   Creating new neuro pathways, new connections is the process of personal growth. This is the re socialization and re culturalisation process that deepens the maturation process.



Then you are in touch with the gap. Vigyan (science) Bhairav (ancient hindu God) Tantra (path) explains a 5000 year old 112 meditation techniques that Shiva explains to Parvati to explain the true nature of reality.
read also for more details
http://tripurashakti.com/kshipta/


”Patanjali has put all levels of the mind into five categories: kshipta, vikshipta, mudha, ekagra, and nirodhah

Kshipta is a completely distracted mind. Vikshipta applies to those who have no control over their mind. They do not have a concentrated mind, but if they make effort, they can learn. Sometimes they understand and sometimes they do not understand because of their lack of attention. Their minds are not yet properly trained, but they are capable of being trained and accepted. That mind which remains in a state of stupor is called mudha. Ekagra refers to those who have a concentrated mind and can concentrate well. Nirodhah described those whose is completely under their control. They have trained their mind perfectly and can use it as they wish.”

Monday 6 April 2015

What really matters!

   

We all need to feel that we are significant, that we matter. Being significant matters. Hate me or     Love me, Like me or dislike me, but don't hold me with indifference. Indifference kills. Often I have observed beggar seeking alms: they don't mind if you oblige them or refuse them, but it seems to me ignoring them is the worst kind of manner in which we treat them. Children become truant when they seek positive attention, but find that the only way to get that is by doing something naughty. Ask any school teacher if that's true and she will quickly agree to this. That's why the 'badmash' in the class is made the class monitor.

Secondly, we all have a great desire for Certainty. A causal connection to what we do and what consequences will take place. Without this, we feel confused. We do want a predictability of what actions create a certain outcome, and most of our lives we wish to ensure a predictability to our lives. Deep within certainty is the fear of security, of existence itself. 
  
Ironically, then we also need a degree of uncertainty. It's what makes life interesting, less boring. We need variety in doing the same things: variety in the foods we eat, variety in our sex lives, variety in the way we dress. If everything turns out exactly the way it did, and as planned how utterly boring life could be. Hence we love surprises: in events, in gifts, in conversations, in vacations. 

Then even as we feel significant, we have a deep desire to make connections: express and relate with the other. Initially, we make a connection with just ourselves (for survival) then we include others (significant other, later children), then extend this to relatives, kith and kin (family). Over time the definition of community expands to be even more larger in it embrace. Selfishness and altruism is just one single line, with just the definition of community enlarged: both are selfish.

And finally, it is about growth. Happiness is not about being in a happy state. It is about the belief that 'things are getting better' and soon. Employees are most engaged in organisations where they feel they are making progress, things are looking up, conditions are improving. 

     Also read, the SCARF model by David Rock which involves five domains of human social experience: Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness and Fairness. You can google and read more on this.