Pulin Garg. Ex Professor IIMA, Founder ISISD.

Written on 7^th September, 2004, reproduced:

Pulin was such a simple man yet he was complex. His life was a lot about paradoxes. A rural man, yet sophisticate in the ways of the world; well traveled in US, UK and France, yet he was deeply rooted  to his village in Gujarat. He was a simple preacher, yet his writings were complex and difficult to fathom- they held complex thoughts, difficult to comprehend, for an untrained mind.  His visage was calm and peaceful and thoughtful at most times. Early morning, he would always break out in cheerful smiles, laugh away loudly as he flittered from one breakfast table to another at the ISISD Summer Conference. I was fortunate to sit with him on many of those occasions as he regaled us with stories of his past (even past lives!) Some of them I had heard before but it always amused me to hear him recount them yet again, it used to please him so much – those stories; it brought a glow to his face, an infectious smile that lit up his countenance ,brightening his whole face, that it gave me so much of pleasure just to see him in this way.

I am not sure what was the first impression I had when I first met him ; but I am sure I know when I met him. It was in May 1992 at Cida de Goa at ISISD Conference. I was undergoing my first phase internship in process work ( a group I was associated with well up to  Pulin’s  demise in 2002. Remember, him most vividly in the last few days – the marathon (we were working on the theme Purveyor of guilt and shame). I just knew that he was a wise man, a kind man, compassionate, with great knowledge and wisdom, a man who had steel like integrity, a courage of his own conviction and a provocative ability to challenge the status quo. He was always in search for ‘truth’: it shown in front of him like a beam whose trajectory would not go off course. He was humble, yet arrogant about his knowledge :he would defend his viewpoint with conviction and force.

But what I most liked about him was that he was willing to challenge and enquire into himself and others – of their authenticity in the process. He was a Guru of Gurus. I’d sit with other faculty ( several years later) and de-brief on work going on in each sub small group – our hypothesis of what was happening….likewise each faculty(usually in pairs) would de-brief. I ‘d watch with interest, even awe, the way Pulin would conduct these sessions. Especially, when he would himself offer a hypothesis on where the community were at; he would weave together a whole hosts of simultaneous events happening in the community and create a fabric on which he would offer a hypothesis. It was stunning- the man! The craftsman! The Master Craftman- yet this was not a craft for him- it was his life and everything he stood for…. In his last day he was even willing to forsake his meanings to ISISD too and walk away – such was the man.

  

I know a lot of people who know Pulin, who know of him, or have been influenced indirectly by his work. There is a common set of words and feelings that we can all relate with at one level as we describe him and our relatedness to him. In this we find our bonding and our unified strength from association. Yet, this master has made with each student a very special place so unique that I find it hard to describe. It is as if everyone had Pulin belong to us in a very special way- in a deeply personal sort of way, special and personal and unique .It was fantastic ; even now as I talk about him to others, friends would share with me some very special moments they have had with him- moments that they have treasured; even now they draw on those memories to pull them through. He was such a treasure; being with him was a gift so precious that it(the Joy!) was savored till the last, the memories held it on even longer(and the joy was ever retained as it does for me). Each of us would recount special advise given by him, a direction shown, a kind word expressed when needed most, but most of all – his ability to empathise – to understand us in a deep soulful way, and express that he cared, and faith that we would see it through. ‘What is this nature of fragility that you hold?” he would often ask us….daring us to walk , where no man has walked before. 

I loved him as a teacher , a friend , an old wise man, a man who had so many faults – big ones and small ones, pet peeves, idiosyncrasies , and irritants….yet he had many big faults too : he was selfish at times, protective of his source ( references – felt accused when he was asked where did that come from? How would I know he would counter. I have read, experienced so much, that lessons over the years have become internalized, some belong to me , some from others, some I have enmeshed together-so why are u asking? He was terrible when he was angry, given to fits of screaming and ranting. I heard ( no direct experience) that others felt he felt threatened when he was not in the driver’s seat. I suspect it was their way of rationalizing----- he was so much obsessesed with the authencity of the process that he would brook no contamination or inauthencity. To me, it always seemed to be , an issue of sour grapes, when others found him wresting the controls back. Yet, it was true Pulin liked to be centre stage. Sometimes, I think he felt his mentees were trying to outstage him ; those times he would cause havoc in the community.

  

Others loved him very dearly and differently too ; for some he was a father, always there , protective always and reassuring….

Paradoxically, many of those who loved him deeply (and do so even today) had to leave him one by one. He was like that. They felt that their lives were getting too involved and complex with Pulin in their lives in such a strong way. I never understood this ever – for me I had kept Pulin as a person and my own personhood separate ; I suspect many had swallowed him whole, internalized him completely and were not able to distinguish what was him and what was theirs.

The day I heard he died – I cried. In a deep and very personal way. And even now, when I think of him, I feel a lump in my throat. No man has walked this way so powerfully across my life, crisscrossing it with such a hue of colour! He said ( and I am sure he lied) – that one of the songs from Anand (  was plagiarized by the songwriter – the original was a poem he had written years back he avers. Even know, every time I hear that song, in a group, I close my eyes and tears moisten my face. I have a picture of him at home ( in the sitting room) my wife is quite selective of what goes in there, yet she ( to my surprise) has allowed me to keep him in a prominent place – as a proud member of our home. I suspect it is her quiet approval of his work, an acknowledgement for what he has done and a payment for some progress she has seen in me ( not sure!!!!).

What did he teach ? It was not what…. It was how he taught!!!! More so, who he was! The whole technology ( I call it that only because he was ok with that term; personally I don’t like that term) was unique and experiential. Process work, at its best is an invitation to join in; at its worst it’s an intrusion on one’s privacy. Process work is a simultaneous process of being in touch with our thoughts, feelings and action modalities in unison. It offers people an opportunity to explore the ‘thing’ that lies within, the nature of the ‘thing’ that causes action , feelings and thoughts to form and flow, to study how we journeyed with this ‘thing’ how it has formed, reformed over time , re-calibrating ever so often.

And out there my son announces he has seen a rainbow!!! I look out of my window in disbelief ; indeed like an arc over the church (which lies besides my house) I see the bright colours of the rainbow. I pause now. Rewarded for my work. In some way, Pulin is like that – a rainbow that will always be there, when needed most! Adieu my friend! Cheers. In my minds eye I see you nod, and sit back.