Our Deepest Fears

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

By Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is to doubt ourselves, give credence to all the belief systems we have formulated over the years: some by others, most by ourselves. 

Bewildered and anxious by actions and prescriptions by people around us, we have adapted self for the sake of others, and lost our own 'original face'. 

Our doubts contain the deepest fear of total annihilation of our being. Of death. 

Shakespeare once said, Cowards die many times before their death, the valiant tastes of death but once. Our doubts come from the use of our mind to assess the processes of our interiority.  That which was a friend to be used outside to manage our world turns foe when we use it internally to assess who we are. 

We are perfect in every way. Our imperfections as seen by others from time to time are perfect and much required as we evolve. We need to chase no ideals, no goals, no need to be different. No need to be like the other. 

All we need to do is to be ourselves: we are competent, lovable and compassionate but we have forgotten to trust ourselves. 

Our mind will forever doubt, but our heart will always trust. 

When we drop the 'doing' and realise we are perfect in our imperfections we get to the destination in an instant. 

Else we live with doubt, guilt and shame. These are not natural. They are imposed from outside. 

Stay Aware! 

Visit to Chhindwara - 20 years later

Back 20 years

 It started with the plane landing at Nagpur. Then it was all remembrance time. The airport itself, familiar but not same: as time would have changed it. That’s modernity: it looked more efficient, however less charming.

The drive from Nagpur to Chhindwara, brought back memories: even more gustatory while consuming samosas and adrak chai at the Sausar bus stand midway.

The more we drove the further we moved away from busier township towards rustic smaller town: the quieter it got, the warmer it felt.  An apology of a ghat barely started and ended within ten minutes of driving.

The roads were broader now, two laned and in some areas, two lanes one way itself.  As we drove further down the road the traffic got even less dense, then quiet and as if we were the only one on it: just a few trucks connecting the towns commercially.

All the lay ahead was quiet roads, somewhat unpleasant but bright sunlight. And road signs assuring you that you were approaching destination soon.

We reached Chhindwara by 11 am and checked into a hotel. The wedding reception venue of a friend , for which my family and I had come in for, was just opposite the hotel.

A few calls: and it was back to connecting with the past. Ajay, an old friend dropped everything to come and see us at the Hotel and drive us around.  We drove to his house (fantastic memories) then to Ranjit Mehna’s and then to the HUL Factory, where I was delighted to meet staff and colleagues. It was good to see the changes in the factory since and to reconnect with old memories. At one level, it seemed just yesterday; yet at another, it seem like a dream, so long back!

Like in all weddings receptions, you encounter so many friends of the past, reestablishing old connections once again.

As I reflected my last 4 weeks ( a 30 old reunion with XLRI Alumni at Goa, My wife’s school reunion celebration of Mt Carmel and De Nobili, Dhanbad, a HUL get together coming up soon) I was left wondering: we seemed to live so much in the future. Yet, the past, has so much to celebrate, so much to treasure.

Everything begins with acceptance, everything ends with expectations.

Everything begins with acceptance, everything ends with expectations.

What do I mean my acceptance? Acceptance is being in nature with, in resonance, in harmony, in balance. There is no better or best, what is, is perfect. In every way. Know this, we are unique. Every stage of our evolution is perfect. The caterpillar to the butterfly and the process within is all required: every step is needed. Accelerate one stage, and you have chaos. The seed under the ground needs to harden before it sprouts: it must die unto itself before it transforms and is re-born.

A farmer was disappointed with nature that his crops would not grow as well as he would like, and for one season the Maker gave him the boon to control the climate. He ordered Sunny days, and wet days, but in the end the crops failed. It was the dry period that was so badly needed for the seeds to sprout. Life must be accepted in its eternity: not more of this, and less of that. Everything is needed. Everything, good and bad (not my words) is needed.

In child psychology it is well understood that as a child skips one stage (for example the crawling stage, as he uses a walker, his growth is slightly stunted). Our brains continue to retain all of our primordial selves: the amphibian, reptilian, etc even as we evolve. We are in a state of transition all the time. No step is to be missed.

Borrowed text below:

Love is made up of three unconditional properties in equal measure:

1. Acceptance
2. Understanding
3. Appreciation

Love is unconditional: it is given without any expecatations. It is giving completely. Like a a flower that blossoms before it bears fruit: it is our very nature to love.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” 
― Lao Tzu

“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself-and especially to feel, or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is.” 
― Jim Morrison

Yet we are filled with expectations: all the time. We expect more from ourselves and from others around us. Expectations come from a notion of a false illusion that if this were to come true: we would be happy. Many of us pray with the belief that we expect we would live the good life eternally, worse still we expect to save ourselves from the agony of hell. Priests and Pundits create expectations.  Once we buy into that: we are imprisoned in their games. Then we can be controlled. Like Pavlov: conditioned, we salivate like the dog, hoping for the promised.

Regrettably, what we seek is a myth: a phantasy; what we have, we don’t not value at all, and what we want Nobody gives in the exact way we want. Even an ideal self is the worst poison: it is the most dangerous. It is a false exuberance and commitment around a goal that we hold most dear to ourselves, but which will forever endure.

Our expectations from ourselves come from Introjects of significant others in our lives: symbols of an elusive better self. All our lives, we expect more from ourselves: who we are is not good enough.

Remember this, expect and you will be disappointed, surely as night follows day. Accept, and nature bends unfolding her beauty in full panoply.