Wednesday 15 November 2017

Handling Difficult Conversations



Handling Performance Shortfall – The Three Minute Technique

I have built the steps using the acronym ‘PREPARE & CLOSE’ for easy recall. Essentially, there are 12 steps to follow.

1. Prepare the Person

Help the person to face up to a difficult conversation. You may start by saying, “I have important but difficult news to share with you”. It’s critical that the recipient is now prepared to face up to a difficult conversation, and you want to make sure you have created the readiness to face up to what follows. Being caught abruptly with sudden news can come as a rude shock

2. Rapport and connection to be built at the outset

Do start by building personal connect. You may like to say, “I know that what I am going to share with you will be uncomfortable, even a shock. However, I do believe we need to square this off and move past this”. Ensure that the recipient receives your message with humanity and grace.

3. Establish the gap from the Expectation clearly

Ensure you provide specific details of the performance shortfall or behavior. For example, begin by saying, “You are late to work once again”.

4. Pause

Ensure you pause and wait for a response. This is a critical step. It’s not enough to land the feedback, you need to wait and elicit a response. Be comfortable with silence. Let it create the tension you need to progress things.

5. Avoid the ‘side-step’

Make sure you pay attention to any ‘side step’, a remark that seeks to divert the issue to something else (Oh Gosh, I was stuck in traffic).

6. Re-state the Expectation

State, “I need for you to be on time each day, everyday”.  If need be make sure you continue to reiterate the expected behavior, till the recipient understands this well.  He may respond now that he/she will comply with the expectations. That’s not enough. Move to the next stage.

7. Enquire what specifically he would do to bridge the gap

Ask, “ What specifically will you do to come on time to office, Andre?”. This is a very important step. You need for Andre to generate the solutions to his problem. Avoid giving suggestions or advice. He needs to generate the solution. You may wish to facilitate this process if you believe he is struggling with generating solutions. Often the person may be in an emotional bind and may not be able to clearly see through this phase. Being sympathetic is key, but its all critical that you are firm. You may say, “I know Andre that a lot of people are depending on you Andre, and we are depending on you as well. I need for you to be on time at work, each day, like everybody else”.



8. Clarify what you have heard

Say, “I hear you say that you will do xxx and xxx so that you will be on time to work each day, everyday”.

9. Listen attentively to confirm

Listen carefully to cues both verbally and non verbal to ensure there is no dissonance to what is being promised

10. Onboard the new behavior

Share in positive tone, “I am certain that by you doing xxx and xxx you will be able to turn this behavior around, and be on time each day as expected”.

11. Share your acknowledgement to his new initiative and commitment

Say, “Andre, I’m quite certain you can do this, and I have full confidence in you”.

12. Ensure Review mechanism is built in

Say, “Andre, let’s review how you are doing on this again by next week, shall we?. Cheers”.


That’s it!

Wednesday 1 November 2017

Correlation does not imply Causation

I just know, or Do I?

Mike Hartmann in a Ted Talk, titled, Unpacking the biases that shape our belief (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU7Mhne4CzU) wherein he shares the following statistics:


One person reads the following headline:

77% of cases in whooping cough outbreaks were fully vaccinated!

Another person reads another headline as under:

Unvaccinated children had five-fold risk of getting pertussis!

And Mike read the following:


Pertussis outbreak in elementary high school with high vaccination rate


After reading these headlines, you as a reader may come to the conclusion that vaccines are not effective"


So let’s review the facts:

1. There were 208 school students and of which 195 were fully vaccinated against pertussis.
2. 35 cases of outbreak occurred.
3. 27 out of 35 elementary school students were in the fully vaccinated group and 8 in the not vaccinated group.

In other words while 14% of students vaccinated were effected, almost 62% of those unvaccinated were effected.

We all fall trap to intrinsic bias, that confirms our own beliefs of, “I just know!”
It is the interrogation of data that can free us from such bias. To start with, we must be willing to examine and review our own bias.

One way to review this is through Causal graphs. Causal graphs allow for us to talk about causal pathways both in an intuitive and pictorial way.

Lets first start with translating normal English to Causal Graphs or DAG (directed acyclic graph).

One needs to note that Causation and Association are different. When we find a correlation we say its is an association. However, when the variable (exposure) has an influence on the outcome, its is said to be causal. Is smoking ‘pot’ and having troubled relationship during teenage, an association or a causation?
And if one jumps of a cliff, would that be the cause of injury?



Let's review the following 4 cases:

(i). A----→ Y Cause and Effect

In figure I, A causes Y. The arrow from A to Y indicates this as a symbol.

        ------------------------------------->
(ii). L (parent)----→  A (child)       Y (grandchild) Common Causes

In figure ii, you could have common causes for Y occurring.

For example,
Firstly you have data that L (smoking) causing Yellow Fingers (A), but there is no evidence that Yellow Fingers causes Cancer (Y).
You may also have causation where Smoking (L) causes Y (Cancer)

            ------------------>
(iii).    A          Y ---→L Conditioning on Common Effect

In figure iii, there is a collider L, is an effect by two common causes, Y and A.

For example:

(L) Mortality can be caused both by Y (say Kidney Disease) or A (Age)
Of course, we can say Age causes Mortality too.

Age is therefore a common cause of KD and Mortality.

iv. Chance
Something happen by chance and there is no causality.

How do we start to eliminate bias?

We start with recognising Confounding. Confounding is the bias due to the presence of common cause and the outcome. For example, we may infer, that Yellow fingers caused by smoking leads to Lung Cancer!

Confounding can be detected when it must meet three criteria’s:

1. Must have an association with the outcome
2. Must be associated with the exposure
3. Must not be in the causal path of from exposure to outcome

While smoking may lead to lung cancer, there maybe an association with Coffee drinking and smoking, but Coffee drinking is not causal to lung cancer.


Judea Pearls Rules :

1. Two variables are d-separated* if all paths between them are blocked
2. Two variables are marginally or unconditionally independent if they are d-separated without conditioning.
3. If however, the collider is ‘conditioned’ a back entry is possible.

* d-separated is a relationship between three disjoint set of vertices in a directed graph.

As you explore data, you will soon recognise, associations, causal and confounding issues.

In conclusion to establish a causal relationship, one has to assess Consistency, Strength, Specificity, temporal relationship and coherence of the association.

Thursday 26 October 2017

For self at workplace, use your Head, as you Engage with others use your Heart

For self at workplace, use your Head, as you Engage with others use your Heart

There is the head and there is the heart. But truly, besides the two there is the being.

Head is logical. It makes assumptions, comparisons, observations, and inferences and arrives at inferences and conclusions. The heart is feelings, emotions, and sensitivities. Strengthening the head, grows one’s intellect, strengthening the heart grows one trust. Head makes assumptions and is always questioning. Heart keeps on trusting. The head can never trust, and the heart can never doubt.


Beyond Head and Heart is pure intelligence of the being, where head and heart are integrated. For truly, both head and heart are but the gross and subtle forms of the body. In other words, there is no Body or mind – just bodymind.
Mind is both cognitive and affective: the duality of both head and heart co-exist.

Intelligence comes from awareness beyond heart and mind. Teaching comes from the head, learning comes from the heart. Head alone gives analysis, combining head and heart, insight. Deeper insight wisdom. From wisdom comes foresight. Just listening to head can make you cautious, worse still make you a coward. Follow your heart and it may lead you to courage, at its worst, to reckless impetuosity. It needs balance. 

At work, we need to use our head: be structured, methodical, planned, and logical in how we do things. Yet as we engage with others, we should learn to use our hearts even more: how do we connect beyond mind.

Said the Buddha in Heart Sutra:

HERE, O SARIPUTRA, FORM IS EMPTINESS AND THE VERY EMPTINESS IS FORM; EMPTINESS DOES NOT DIFFER FROM FORM, FORM DOES NOT DIFFER FROM EMPTINESS; WHATEVER IS FORM, THAT IS EMPTINESS, WHATEVER IS EMPTINESS, THAT IS FORM; THE SAME IS TRUE OF FEELINGS, PERCEPTIONS, IMPULSES, AND CONSCIOUSNESS. HERE, O SARIPUTRA, ALL DHARMAS ARE MARKED WITH EMPTINESS; THEY ARE NOT PRODUCED OR STOPPED, NOT DEFILED OR IMMACULATE, NOT DEFICIENT OR COMPLETE

Recognise that if you can move between Head and Heart, you are neither Head nor Heart. You are distinct from both. Relax, let go: remember to be one’s own witness.


Saturday 7 October 2017

The Mind - an Indian perspective

The four faculties or functions of the mind (Anthakarana)

Indian Philosophy has for long understood the four functionality of the mind: Manas, Buddhi, Chitta and Ahamkara.




One’s thought is a combination of memory and intelligence. The retained memory is what sets up the psychological drama which is personal. One’s thoughts are hashed and rehashes of one’s own retained thoughts. Nothing new can be experienced. This process of regurgitation of thought is what is described as intellect. Intellect is the socialized process of education of ‘learnt thoughts’. It is quite different to intelligence. Intellect wants to dissect everything. It continues to ask questions. The intellect can only doubt, not trust. For trust comes from intelligence. 

Manas:
To explain Manas, this is the thinking mind, the faculty that is engaged with senses, the processing mind. The manas interacts with the ten indriyas. The Indriyas are in two parts: Karmendriyas (active expressions) such as eliminating, reproducing, moving, grasping and speaking. In the second category, there is Jnanendriyas which comprises the cognitive senses of smelling, tasting, seeing, hearing and touching. It is to be remembered that one is independent of one’s senses and actions. As part of mediation one lets go off the Karmendriyas, by sitting still and letting go off all active expressions. That follows the suspension of the Jnanendriyas: becoming aware of the cognitive senses itself and going beyond to the dweller. This sense withdrawal or Pratyahara is the journey to Samadhi. By one’s own awareness and understanding of the ten indriyas, one is able to break old habits. It is not about the regulation of the mind by the act of withdrawal. It is more about focusing the mind, and having the senses flow inwards. For just as bees follow the queen bee, all the indriyas follow where the mind is focused.



Swami Vivekananda says in Raja Yoga:
The theory of creation is that matter is subject to five conditions: ether, luminous ether, gaseous, liquid, and solid. They are all evoked out of one primal element, which is very finest ether.
The name of the energy in the universe is Prana, which is the force residing in these elements. Mind is the great instrument for using the Prana. Mind is material. Behind the mind is Atman which takes hold of the Prana. Prana is the driving power of the world, and can be seen in every manifestation of life. The body is mortal and the mind is mortal; both, being compounds, must die. Behind all is the Atman which never dies. The Atman is pure intelligence controlling and directing Prana.

Chakras and the Elements 
The ten Indriyas operate from the first five chakras (root, genital, navel, heart, throat), along with the five elements:




Adi Shankaracharya says:
I am not mind, nor intellect, nor ego, nor the reflections of inner self.
I am not the five senses. I am beyond that.
I am not the ether, nor the earth, nor the fire, nor the wind.
I am indeed, That eternal knowing and bliss, Shiva, love and pure consciousness.


Buddhi: knows, decides, judges and discriminates

Buddhi (Viveka) is the ideal decision maker but normally clouded by Chitta (memory mind) or Ahankara (the ego mind). Buddhi is like a mirror, that reflects everything. Yet it can be clouded by manas, whirling merry go around of thoughts or Chitta of remembered memories. By removing the cloud of spiritual ignorance (avidya) one can purify the Buddhi and cause deep reflective meditative experience. It is Buddhi that saw the universe in division from its unity.

Chitta:

The mental function is to store and organize all experiences in samskaras – memories, impressions and emotional patterns. These shape our overall character and when clouded can distort manas to create psychological projections and false perceptions. Chitta carries both emotions and passive memories. Chitta is like the lake and upon which thoughts form like waves. Yoga is finally the control of the modifications of Chitta mind field. Then the dweller abides in his own true nature.

Ahamkara:

It is the ‘I-maker’ or ego. This is the false identification with Chitta. A self gets created which is coloured (klishta) with attraction or aversion. The source of suffering is here: its attachment falsely with chitta, the mind field. It seeks attention for itself. One way to manage this is to change the ‘I-want’ to ‘It wants”.

Also, the Four Functions of Mind operate at the various levels of consciousness. In the waking state of consciousness, the four operate. In the dreaming state, the four operate. In the deep sleep state, the four functions become less active, as if they are partially receding back into the latent part of mind, the Chitta from which all of the activity arises in the dreaming and waking states. 




The first quarter (Pāda) is Vaiśvānara whose sphere (of activity) is the waking state, who is conscious of external objects, who has seven limbs and nineteen mouths and whose experience consists of gross (material) objects.

These seven limbs include: space, air, fire, water, earth and individuation from the whole and Shakti energy.


The nineteen mouths are the four faculties of mind (Anthakarana), the ten Indriyas, and the five pranas  (prana - heart, asana -torso, samara - navel, adana -throat, and vyana - operates throughout).


To the most important question, how does one Control one's thought.Maharishi Ramana urges one to focus on the question, Who am I? If other thoughts emerge, ask the question, to Whom is the thought arising? Who is that I? 


Both mind and Breath are from the same source, one quietens the other. Breath is the gross form of mind. it is the one pointed mind that controls the Indriyas. All residual thoughts on objects disappear as one moves higher in one's mediation. Both auspicious and inauspicious impressions creates the notion of 'good' and 'bad'. 



Said Chanakya in Niti-Sastra:

If you wish to gain control of the world by the performance of a single deed, then keep the following fifteen, which are prone to wander here and there, from getting the upper hand of you: the five sense objects (objects of sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch); the five sense organs (ears, eyes, nose, tongue and skin) and organs of activity (hands, legs, mouth, genitals and anus).

The nature of the self, is what exists in truth. 
The self is where there is no 'I'. Just as Desire, Resolve and Effort is not needed to allow for movements in nature, so too should the human being realise that all is part of the cosmic movement and should surrender to it.