Happiness is self knowing itself

The source of all suffering is wanting things to be different to what they are. Our resistance is our suffering. One single thought, “I don’t like this, I wish it was that.”. The heart of suffering arises from an illusion. suffering is to the mind, what pain is to the body - a wake up call.

Our mind is the movement of consciousness – all of our senses is an activity of consciousness. Shiva, at rest; Shakti, when in movement. Our consciousness vibrates within itself, manifesting its forms, never its complete self. I can choose to be witness to my thoughts, ‘I am not this, nor that’ – neti neti. I am not my body, I am not my mind. It is not enough to see that the ‘rope is not a snake’ we need to go further. What we are, needs to see what it is! Through dhyan and dharna, one brings concentration, focus and contemplation to ‘Who am I’. This awareness of self is exploring the experience of awareness. At another level, we can move to one’s total consciousness and experience the dissolution. Recognise that the one which remains eternally is the 'watcher', through ongoing experiences, in waking, in dreaming or in sleeping. Awareness of awareness (call it consciousness if you like) is ever present. Often, when the consciousness projects of itself, the object is identified with, and one forgets that one is not the object nor identified with it. When watching a movie, the screen while being visible is forgotten, what is seen instead are the moving images. The screen is not effected by what is moving on the screen, yet all that is manifest comes off the screen. Our minds are only a dream, an imagination, a finite possibility that arises from the infinite intelligence. 

Our mind is an activity (of matter) of the entity ( if you wish to call it that) of Consciousness.  

We don’t seem to be able to give ourselves what we want, we think somebody else can. The root cause, I think is that we believe deeply that we are ‘not good enough’– we are always striving to be better! We fail to realize that we are already competent, compassionate and lovable, the way we are. 

We need to be aware that thoughts arise in you, they are not injected in you, correct? They arise in me, and dissolve in me. They exist when it appears, and it dissolves when it disappears. So, before a thought arises, there is ‘a space of no thought.’ We all have an opportunity for ‘no mind’ which is pure freedom. We either experience freedom or long for it. Being separate from our true nature, all of our actions is seeking for communion with one’s natural state. Being separate, we lose our own freedom, and with this ‘overlooking’ the self is veiled. Happiness or Bliss is a memory that is retained deep within, the finite self is compromised by beliefs and feelings superimposed onto it, which appears finite. This veiled ‘I’ longs to return to its infinite self. The ultimate aim to achieve sat chit Ananda. Happiness is absolute, within, and is not from ‘outside’. 

Ponder over the following:

1.     Expect, and you surely will be disappointed, Accept and you will experience bliss.

2.    What we seek is a myth, what we want, nobody gives, what we have, we do not value. 

3.    We share our being. There is no separateness. 

4.    The self is pure consciousness, the separate self holds experience. 

Why is Change difficult?

Despite an overwhelming wish to change, people fail to achieve their goals. Ever wonder why?

Recently I was talking to someone who said to me, “I am aware of this, have been aware of this for several years now. The issue is not awareness. I am just not able to make the changes I wish.”

This comment made me aware of the enormous amounts of time we spend on the process of making people aware of things that they need to do to change. We receive a lot of feedback, and by now most of us have a pretty good idea of what changes we need to make in ourselves. In the world of work, so much of effort is put into offering people a glimpse of themselves as seen from the eyes of others. 

I am in touch with the frustration most people experience when after careful dialogue a developmental planis pulled together with clear indicators of gaps that need to be mitigated. Then the journey ends: You are left to manage the most difficult path – towards transformation.  Some are fortunate to be assigned a coach. For most, they are virtually left to fend for themselves, with final comments “Do reach out to me, should you wish for my support.” 

Yes, there are many who still struggle to own the changes they need to make: usually such folks would put the blame on someone or something outside of themselves. There can be a tendency to blame circumstances for one’s inability to meet one’s goals. So, the first step of helping bring awareness is critical. 

As I think about making changes, the following are a few reflections:

1.   Change is Challenging – as it needs moving away from one’s comfort zone.

2.   Change is not linear – it seems like three steps forward, two steps backwards.

3.   Newton’s third law of motion seems to operate: for every force, there is an equal and opposite force operating. 

4.   We start to underestimate the quantum of effort: we start too big, fail to follow through, and give up when we face resistance. 

5.   Many of the things we wish to change are tied to our identity of who we are – changing this is unbearable and painful. 

6.   When things get difficult, we decide to give up on our goals. 

7.   Holding positive thoughts are short lived. 

I posit that in order to create transformational change, one needs to:

1.   Have a strong dissatisfaction with what is. 

2.   Hold a compelling vision of the future state

3.   Commit to the change with some clear actions, despite resistance.

4.   The new change is aligned with one’s personal purpose.

These are, if you like the four legs of a chair: all of these are required. 

So, what can help?

1.   Be sure you know the difference between having a wish and what you are willing to commit to?

2.   Once you commit, build carefully steps / infrastructure that create conditions for you to succeed. 

3.   Celebrate the milestones.

4.   Use the ’21-day rule’ – to establish habits

5.   Stay Focused. 

Let me end with this quote "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Dear Reader, would love to hear your reflections....

The importance of Leisure

The importance of Leisure

Ironically, ‘we give up leisure in order that we may have leisure, just as we go to war, in order that we have peace”. - Aristotle

Leisure is free time away from work, household chores, eating or sleeping. A few centuries ago leisure would have been the privilege of the rich. However, leisure is more equitable these modern days. There is a famous saying, “All Work and No play make Jack a dull boy.”

Leisure refreshes us, charges our batteries to re-start our work with energy and vigor. It allows opportunities for rest, recreation and other intellectual pursuits. Sports is one activity that came from leisure time, so did music and dancing. 

One Elephant in the room, is balance work life, that we are all undergoing in today’s VUCA world. This is linked with lifestyle and an inability to balance work and leisure. What is somewhat alarming is people are unable to stay away from work. At work, they appear to be in ‘flow’ – enjoying the moment, using their skills and knowledge. Yet away from work this ‘flow’ is unavailable to them. They may choose to watch TV, try to sleep, flop around the house. In short, there is lesser capacity to recreate energy in unstructured free time. And soon, after a short period of time, they look forward to getting back to work. Honestly, these folks would hate to admit that they cannot switch way from work. 

I would like to provoke a few questions:

1. What is this lopsided focus to work, against a balance work life? 

2. What is the implication of this as we move to a world of increased digitization and automation? 

"The heresies of one period," Margaret Thatcher said, always become "the orthodoxies of
the next." The end of work as we know it will seem unthinkable - until it has happened. 

why we stay indecisive

Most of us at some point in our lives find ourselves at a crossroad. At this juncture, we find ourselves immobilized to move forward and caught in the grip of indecisiveness. We are truly in the ‘horns of dilemma’ and uncertain what next to do. Time passes inexorably slowly, doubts arise in our beliefs, and we start to believe in our doubts. This crossroad, for those who have been there, is painful, agonizing, frustrating, and erodes self-esteem.Akin to a deer caught in the headlights.  I am sure readers can identify with being in this ‘unsweet spot’, a veritable hell. What can one do?

Winston Churchill once remarked, “If you are going through hell, keep going’. Sun Tsu, in the Art of War also advises, ‘In difficult ground keep steadily on the march.’

Now given that intellectually we know that we have to ‘move on’ what then compels us to maintain status quo. 

Firstly, could it be the fear of taking responsibility. We must learn to take responsibility for choices we made and live with both the intended and unintended consequences. One needs to look at the positive side, and ask what is the worst that can happen? And this would start with identifying your fear. For what you run away from, will forever haunt. What you resist, will persist. One needs to confront one’s ghost and make it a friendly Casper.

Secondly, you could be having too many choices, and this is the paradox of choice. Research has proven that having too many choices, actually causes you to become indecisive. You need to ruthlessly prioritize, limit down the choices if you are to come to a decision. For this, having a clear set of criteria drawn up for decision making is more important than information gathering. If we are clear, about the criteria’s, then the search is confined to just information gathering around the criterions.  Now while procrastination is bad, seeking perfection is far worse. Even having 80% information is good enough. Don’t get caught with overthinking.  Make decisions that seem right to you rather than how it looks for others. Quite often, while we delay making a decision, and time flies, your indecision can result in a decision by default. You have given up your power of choice.

Indecision prevents us from living, and the resultant waste of time, stress and anxiety sabotages us from achieving our dreams and goals. In moments like this you need to trust yourself, trust your gut, your intuition. And holding self compassion for oneself. 

Night Trek - Kunti Betta

What a night trek taught me?

Three of us made plans to do a night trek to Anthagange which included a cave exploration which sounded fun. We finally trekked some place else. This article is about a few thoughts on this event.

A Shared Purpose but not Same Beliefs

Firstly, why was I doing this? We all have different reasons to want to do this trek. I for one, had just stated off on a fitness regime and wanted to ‘test myself physically’ – a night trek seemed like a good way of doing this. My two fellow travelers had all together different reasons.  KC wanted to just have an outing while VN wanted to take time off to be with herself, to unwind and come back refreshed and rejuvenated. 

Purpose evokes emotions, creates action

Having decided to trek, we requested VN, the most experienced amongst us to find an appropriate trek operator and suggest a trek commensurate with our ability. Trust was a keen component here: choice of trek, level of difficulty, and right through the process, we relied on her completely to call out ‘difficulty’ as we discussed different trek possibilities. 

The fateful day arrived and just few hours before VN called to say that the trek was being re-scheduled to the next day (not enough participants) and would that be ok. We agreed in the moment, but as we thought it through, decided there were other opportunities to pursue before we gave up and accepted this. KC shared he could not do the next evening trek. He had other commitments. So it was ‘this evening or’…some later indefinite day?

We decided on being agile: three of us got on a call and agreed to quickly check all other organizers. Time was running out, yet we calmly went about, checking out on google, calling up the organizers and determining if we three could get a last-minute entry into a trek that evening itself.  

Finally, after many wasap messages and an hour later, we landed on a trek to Kunal Betta. We re-scheduled plans for pick up point and began to look forward to meeting up and the night ahead. 

The learnings and fun is in the journey not the destination

it was adventure then every step of the way. The packing of our bags for one:with things we put in and uncertainty with what would be needed balanced with concern that we should not be carrying too much on account of the weight. Unlike a road trip, relatively speaking, you have more flexibility (size of bag) to put things in. Here, everything we needed to carry had to have a utility, a decision about its usage. Choices to be made. After all, we had to haul our own weight plus the bag!

We meet for dinner, and then walked to the pick-up bus point. During the time we were waiting, we talked about the physical and the spiritual body! It was a fascinating conversation. The bus finally came across and picked us up, other travelers as well, and we headed off to the Ramanagara campsite, where we had an opportunity to use the washroom, have a cup of tea, before heading off to the Kunti Betta Basecamp. It was pitch dark getting off the bus, and we crossed the rail track to get to the other side: we got the first taste of using torchlights to steer our way. 

Twenty minutes later, we drove off again, this trip took almost two hours, and we dozed off, trying to get as much sleep as possible. It was about 3am by the time we got to the site. 

The map is not the territory 

No matter how much you prepare and anticipate for things, it was ‘learning in the moment’ all the time. We started the initial steep climb up a rock and then it opened to rocky boulders and trees with foliage which obscured the narrow path, overgrown mostly. I was prepared to feel the onslaught of tiredness soon, but thankfully, as time passed, even though I was tired, I was feeling quite confidant to press on without a pause. A few folks were chatting all the time, but soon, as the climb became more difficult, concentration was required, and the voices died down. The trek allows you no time to think of anything else: all focus is on the path ahead, one step ahead, finding the right foothold, then the next step to find the other. And then the next step. The torch light lit the obscured path ahead, and along the way, we had to climb up larger rocks, bend sideways across two rocks or inch our way up onto a boulder. All of this required attention in the moment. I was thankful for my trekking shoes: its grip and ankle guard. For the first hour or so, we three led in the front of the pack. And as we waited for others to catch up, we were able to catch our breath, drink water, and survey the starry skies above and the neon lights of the town below. It was breathtaking, so stunningly quiet and beautiful. I was reminded then: all the better things in life are almost free! Like this moment of taking in the view. 

There is fellowship in travel

There is connection in travel. Deep connections you make with yourself and with the other. There were new parts of me I got to know about myself, and which I enjoyed knowing. I also experienced the joy of co-travelers. VN, the most experienced in treks amongst us, continuously checking out on how KC and I were doing, often lending us a strong hand to propel ourselves upwards. There is no shame in taking help, none at all. After a while I was even more determined to search for even more resilience within. The trek was challenging, at times quite tough, but I was very confident I would see this through. The past few weeks I had been gyming, and knew I had the stamina. 

KC shared much later, “What I also felt during the trek was a sense of fear of wild animals which immediately dissipated looking at the fellow trekkers. The guides themselves, looked quite inexperienced and did not really give me the confidence that they would be able to handle eventualities (which thankfully did not occur). However, the presence of VN compensated for all of that. A key insight is the trust you have on your colleague to be able to carry things off in case of any eventuality”.

The final steps

I did say the journey is the most pleasurable to the destination, but seeing the hilltop a few 100 metres ahead, was very satisfying: it was good to make it to the top, to celebrate this success. This destination is but a milestone, and that is needed to celebrate one’s life. I guess what we call destinations are but ‘pitstops’ in our lives. They propel us forward to keep walking. 

At the Top

I will let the pictures share the view we saw, but the feelings I experienced were very satisfying. I was exhausted, I could feel new muscles I did not know I had, but despite the pleasant pain, I felt so happy, so very alive. The stars above, were so beautiful, the land below dotted with lights. The evening could have been colder and windier: we were lucky. Our jackets were suitably warm. We rested and waited for daybreak, to take pictures of the sunrise, of us in light, and to then descend and make our way back home.