Doubt and Trust - one needs the other.

To relate and to express are the two basic fundamental human needs – on people and on the environment we live in. Given man’s ability to reflect on past experiences, and make abstract and concrete generalizations, it allows him to envision his future, test new hypothesis and allows him to make new meaning, new choices, new actions, new directions, new grounds for relatedness.

As we relate / express the fundamental driver is trust. Trust is built on, ‘biology, physics and chemistry’ that we have with others. Biology – as it is organic, our mirror neurons (read more on Dr. Ramchander’s work) fire away when we are with people, alerting us to trust or mistrust. Our brains are wired for reward or punishment (David Rock). Physics, as it requires structure. The roles we play for each other steer to normative definitions of do’s and don’t’s. We assume, leaders lead, parents love, teachers, teach etc.  And finally Chemistry, where sense and intuitive data combine to forge trust or mistrust.

The ‘self’ which is us over time, through socialization and re-culturalisation becomes the identity we portray – it becomes our Personality. Interesting a persona is a mask. On the other hand, a ‘location’ we find ourselves in offers us a steer to the roles we must play. Obviously, as we occupy multiple locations at home, office, and with society, we have multiple roles we play. When some of our roles come in conflict with the self or the identity we feel anxious and mistrust.

So how do we build trust?

Trust comes from sharing: Ourselves to others and understanding the other even more deeply.  The head can never trust, and the heart can never doubt. Mind is build on duality: as long as the assumptions hold true conditional acceptance is there, when the context changes, the assumptions are no longer relevant, mistrust begins. On the other hand, the heart never doubts. It is unconditional, devoid of any conditions. It is total surrender. True trust comes easier to a young child, as it develops her mind, doubts begin to grow.

Trust comes from providing more information. If you go rappelling, much care is taken to explain the procedures, the safety briefing, etc, which instills trust.

The good news is that we are trusting by nature, yet at the same time imbued with doubt. Doubt allows a scientist to go to work, dissecting and searching for truth, trust allows him to prayer before he leaves home.

We need both doubt and trust – like both sides of a coin.

What do you think?