why we stay indecisive

Most of us at some point in our lives find ourselves at a crossroad. At this juncture, we find ourselves immobilized to move forward and caught in the grip of indecisiveness. We are truly in the ‘horns of dilemma’ and uncertain what next to do. Time passes inexorably slowly, doubts arise in our beliefs, and we start to believe in our doubts. This crossroad, for those who have been there, is painful, agonizing, frustrating, and erodes self-esteem.Akin to a deer caught in the headlights.  I am sure readers can identify with being in this ‘unsweet spot’, a veritable hell. What can one do?

Winston Churchill once remarked, “If you are going through hell, keep going’. Sun Tsu, in the Art of War also advises, ‘In difficult ground keep steadily on the march.’

Now given that intellectually we know that we have to ‘move on’ what then compels us to maintain status quo. 

Firstly, could it be the fear of taking responsibility. We must learn to take responsibility for choices we made and live with both the intended and unintended consequences. One needs to look at the positive side, and ask what is the worst that can happen? And this would start with identifying your fear. For what you run away from, will forever haunt. What you resist, will persist. One needs to confront one’s ghost and make it a friendly Casper.

Secondly, you could be having too many choices, and this is the paradox of choice. Research has proven that having too many choices, actually causes you to become indecisive. You need to ruthlessly prioritize, limit down the choices if you are to come to a decision. For this, having a clear set of criteria drawn up for decision making is more important than information gathering. If we are clear, about the criteria’s, then the search is confined to just information gathering around the criterions.  Now while procrastination is bad, seeking perfection is far worse. Even having 80% information is good enough. Don’t get caught with overthinking.  Make decisions that seem right to you rather than how it looks for others. Quite often, while we delay making a decision, and time flies, your indecision can result in a decision by default. You have given up your power of choice.

Indecision prevents us from living, and the resultant waste of time, stress and anxiety sabotages us from achieving our dreams and goals. In moments like this you need to trust yourself, trust your gut, your intuition. And holding self compassion for oneself.