Am Blind, But can See!

Date: 24^th May, 2006 Time: afternoon Venue: an Eye Clinic, Wadala

I leave office early today. My son is undergoing an operation. It’s a planned surgery. I have been getting regular updates through the morning by sms ( short messaging service) and on my cellular phone. As I settle down in the car, I glance thorough some of the unread updates, feel anxious still-so call up my wife too. I  hear that the operation has gone off well, the doctors are happy, my son is now slightly groggy, but otherwise fine. I sigh in relief, anxious to be with him soon. Fantastic! this cellular business, I think, you are always connected. What a wonder.

Somebody, shows me to the waiting room – a nice clean and quiet place. The air-conditioning is working quite fine and the room is tastefully done up. A nice picture hangs on one wall. The blinds are drawn, to prevent the sun glare from coming in. Comfortable and several plush sofas make you feel instantly settled down. A TV is running the news, while a ticker runs an update on stock prices. I have noticed the sensex is now in four digits.What’s happening to the markets, cannot people see what was coming was inevitable – were they blind?

I chat with my son for a while. He smiles weakly, then wonders why I ‘bunked’ office to come and see him, but I know he is glad to see me. He complains that he is hungry, that the doctor has still not allowed him to eat or drink yet. And he is hungry! He groans but then when he sees the look on my face, he stops himself. And he tries to look brave. We remind him we are both hungry too like him we too have skipped breakfast. He asks us to have a bite. I joke with him, that we are extending him moral support, by staying hungry with him, till he breaks his fast. I remind him of an ongoing student’s agitation – of many who have bravely gone on a hunger strike. Imagine their plight, I said. Gosh, hunger is painful, I think to myself. I wish they allow him some water to drink soon. And I know he would feel so much better once he eats something. We enquire, can we? No! Not yet. No drink or Food. We sit back impatiently – for the doctor to revert!

I sit back and glance through the room more carefully. I notice a lady in her late fifties talking animatedly to a younger lady in her thirties, the latter is wearing dark glasses. Within seconds I figure she is blind, her head almost fixed to one place as she spoke, characteristic of the someone who is blind, not temporally visually impaired. Like a perfect mother and daughter set! Interestingly, I did not notice a patronising conversation, one being more gentle to the other, the other submissive as a recipient). Instead they spoke casually, as equals. They took each other as adults and acted with complete authenticity.How nice, I thought. They seem to get on so famously well. She must be also waiting to go in for an operation of sorts, I thought.

I hear from my wife that they are here, on account of their daughter – the little one was diagnosed as having cancer in the eye! I stuck up a conversation with the ladies. The baby girl was being operated today – her right eye was to be replaced with an artificial one.Gosh! A blind mother, and a daughter whose one eye is visually impaired. Talk of rotten luck!  My thoughts were interrupted with my wife saying how cute the three year old looked. She commented on how brave she acted prior to going in for the operation.

Mother and daughter looked very calm and composed. Often they smiled, joked and broke out in gentle laughter. What a lovely relationship, these two enjoy, I thought.

The door opens gently again. In slow movements a pair of men entered the room. An elderly person and a younger man enter. The two ladies look up in silent acknowledgement. Ironically, the elderly person was guiding the younger person to a vacant sofa – then it all flashed in a second! The younger guy was blind too! And he was the father of the girl being operated. They were all here together. His parents, his blind wife and a partially blind daughter. And his parents. The sadness of it all gripped me.

The younger married couple spoke for a while to each other; first seriously. Then they laughed playfully with each other. Both listened patiently to each other as they spoke. Hmm, they were listening intently as if their eyes were doing all the seeing! In perfect harmony they spoke; not once did I notice they interrupt each other. I could feel the two of them closely touching each other, even while they were inches apart.

Suddenly the man straightened up. And he spoke aloud – “How is Sigmund doing?”. My son replied weekly. And then said, to him ,“My dad is here too, he just came a while ago”.

I said Hello loudly and I caught myself shouting. Stupid, I said to myself, he is blind not deaf. “I hear your daughter is being operated now?” Yes, he says, she will soon be going to school. We thought we should have her bad eye replaced with an artificial eye, so that student’s do not poke fun at her at school. And I am thinking – if not being born a girl is itself  bad enough with a large section of the community, a blind girl itself must be a catastrophe. How unfair it must be!

Was this operation necessary – a cosmetic necessity, because other children may poke fun? Should we not be training our children to be more sensitive, rather than the victim go through more ordeal for readjustment? Perhaps a bad eye may frighten other children; this must probably be best. The family must have thought through this surely.

We talked for quite a while. On hereditary factors- was blindness hereditary? Cancer of the eye is.

The husband spoke reasonable English, and seemed very aware of most things. The news, current affairs, local politics. I began to warm up to him as we spoke.

Suddenly, his cellphone rang. He stood up and walked over to me (his parents had both left the room a while back). What’s the number calling? He asked me. I read aloud the number, and he took the call. I dashed off an sms to my boss – why not work with some vendor to develop a Braille handset – what a wonderful thing it would be for the blind. I felt good with myself, then I admonished myself. Surely, they have far more complications to manage than a Caller Line Identification (CLI issue, as we cellular operators would call it in jargon). I waited for him to finish his call.

May I ask you a question if you don’t mind? I paused. What would you say is the most difficult part of being blind ? Is it navigating traffic, I suggested helpfully. He thought and so did his wife. They both considered the question for a while. Yes, I guess mobility is an issue he conceded. In cities like Mumbai, people are more helpful and guide you by hand across traffic, buy not so in smaller towns. We talked about this for a while.

I hear that those who are blind have their other senses even more sharpened, I asked. I knew the answer already. We see with our ears, the wife replied. You guys use your eyes 80%, your ears 20%.. Hmm, that’s true, I thought. I shut my eyes for a moment, knowing they could not see me doing so. I noticed I was staring at them quite intently, something I would not normally have done, if they were sighted. It appears I can see more, yet I suspect this pair understands more, I thought.

What work do you do I asked. I am a psycho-therapist he says. I enquire about his wife. He tells me she is a school teacher. I tell him, mine is too. She tells me she teaches in the primary section. I think, how compatible they are as a couple ,working too and it seem they were doing quite well! I felt good.

That’s good to hear, I said heartily. He said ‘You are excited on hearing about my work, many people do not care. They think blind people are useless. They cannot work and are a burden to society. That’s far from truth. The wife quickly joined in, “ people normally think, we should sit in one place, do nothing! That we are useless. Husband now joins in vociferously “ We are blind, that’s all’ But we have all other senses. We can speak intelligently and we can hear and we can do things and lead a perfectly normal life than anybody else can. It is unfair and wrong to believe that we are disadvantaged and we do not belong to the mainstream. We are just as normal as any body else, we are only blind.

‘You appear educated’, he continues and you seem to understand’. Do share the message, that blind people are not ‘ abnormal’. They are capable of doing most things that other people can do, even better! Share this with others, this is all I ask. Help eradicate the perception.

Does one voice count? Can I drown out and rectify walls of perception built over several years? Does my experience matter? Does this one conversation count?

That I have been impacted, would it be enough ?Joan Baes voice floats around-“I once was lost, but now am found; was blind but now can see. Tis’ grace that brought me home thus far, and grace shall take me home’.

I feel better for writing this up and sharing it with you my friend. I carry a candle lit, and offer it to you. It’s up to you – to light up yours, or let it pass. Someday, the world will be a better place, and you and I will be one, sings Lennon hopefully. Hum Honge Kamyab, Hum honge kamyab, ek din! Poora hai vishwas!

We are a patient nation! We wait patiently! And the song substitutes the grief, for now.