Executive Coaching

Coaching is a process of moving a client forward

I would like to start with a metaphor:

You can sit on a horse and lead it to your destination, or 
you can nudge it with your legs, gently providing a steer. 
At the level of mastery, you make the absolute choice that the horse knows where it wants to go.

The process by which the coach uses appropriate listening and questioning skills to work with the participant (coachee) to enable them to review and ultimately own solutions to issues upon which they seek resolution.

However, for the coach to remain ‘connected’ they will need:

• a model or approach that enables them to guide the coaching process; and

• the experience and competence to flex their approach in the light of their participant’s needs.

The essence of the coaching process is to build a trusting relationship. To begin with, confidentiality must be assured and rapport established. Primary focus on Who, rather than What and How.

In summary there are two phases:

i. Establish the Contract with Goal Clarification
ii. Enable the Coaching Process - Explore deeply

Begin with,

i. Goal Clarification - spend time here ( most critical part)

“What would you like to get out of this session?” Or “what is the outcome you want to achieve?”. This moves away from discussing problems or issues but helps the client focus on an outcome: a solution.

Next ask: “ How important is this outcome for you?”. “what would change for you if you achieved this outcome?”.

Then follow through with, “ How much of the outcome is under your control?” or Whats preventing you from reaching your outcomes?

Following these initial questions, get even more specific, “ How would you know by the end of this 20 minute session, that you have reached the outcome you want?”.

Spend as much time on this segment, and ensure you completely agree what is the agreed outcomes, the client is seeking. These questions are quite broad and thats fine ( like a double hour glass).

Then, acknowledge the client, and move to the second phase: Current reality

Exploration: ( Focus on Who)

Begin with, “What are the questions we must examine that will help us explore and move us forward towards our goal?”

Goal clarification itself establishes where the client wants to explore in the session, what are the outcomes desired, etc. Spend 15-20 minutes on this section itself. Stay authentic to this contract, don't substitute this with your own. Become aware of your being true to the contract at all times. 

ii. Explore Deeply, but let client lead, follow and dance with client

Here you are exploring what needs to happen within the client itself to make the transformation.Not what he does and how, but the WHO of the client that needs to shift. What is currently blocking the client to secure his goals.

Few questions you may wish to use at this stage

• What is the one thing, he needs to do, that he is not doing?
• What is the one thing, he knows he needs to stop doing?
• What are you learning from your own exploration?
• What more can be done with this awareness?
• In order to reach this outcome, what could you do?
• Are all the actions within your control? Who can help you? Can i support?

Throughout the conversation keep in mind the following:

            In the coaching conversation assess for energy, values, beliefs - the oughts and musts as sought            by client, challenging variation of what is being sought with what is. 

•  Listen to what is being said, also said, and that which is unsaid. Avoid paraphrasing. Establish Connect with Client

• ·      Pause before you ask the next question: Use silence. The client may want to say something more. Build on the silence if you need to.
• ·      Stay watchful to ‘emotive’ words the client uses and follow through on deeper exploration of the feelings behind those emotive words. Use client language not yours.
• ·      Avoid any statements, or preamble. Use short questions. Questions should be evocative. Ask one question at a time: avoid stacking.
• ·      Focus on WHO, stay away from WHAT and HOW (the last two would me mechanical).
• ·      Leave the past alone: stay always into moving the conversation into the future.
• ·      Reflect the body language or energy back to the client, and explore with curiosity.
• ·      Keep tracking continuously: where is the conversation heading with respect to the session outcome?
• ·      Ask questions about the Client, not about the Issue he raises.
• ·      Try always to move the Client Forward, not the coaching forward.
• ·      Celebrate with the client always
• ·      Bring lightness to the conversation: be sincere not serious.
• ·      Take risks: be prepare to challenge contradictions when you observe it
• ·      At all points, enable the client to hold the steering wheel. Work in partnership.

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• To  move the client forward, is to enable client to build awareness. Awareness bring clarity. Then the What and How unfolds itself.
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• Follow through with asking Client whats coming up for him by way of next steps, what would he commit to doing next.
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• End the session, with checking to what extent the session goals have been achieved. What insights derived in this session could be leveraged on other parts of his life.
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• Offer support to client, and check if he is happy to wind down the session.
• Then wind down and thank the client.

Few tips:

Avoid stacked questions (several questions in one question)
Use the Client's language
Follow through with the 'here and now' feeling ( stay with the Who at all times)
Avoid Leading questions, focus on exploration of feelings
Avoid focussing on outcomes, stay with where Client is.
Ensure the questions is powerfully worded and well constructed, is short and impactful 
Acknowledge the client continually and offer presence. Do not praise. 
Avoid Paraphrasing, confirm 'feelings' though at each stage
Partner with the Client to explore: he would best best where to explore
Leverage the 'inner light' of the client at all times
80:20 rule (client to do the bulk of talking)
Stay with where client is, don't try and move ahead of him
Allow the client to summarise regularly, don't do it yourself.
Avoid fillers.

For the more technical details around process here are the steps from a competency perspective:

Competency 1: Meeting Ethical Guidelines and ethical standards

·      Greet with warmth, establish rapport.

·      Share confidentiality

·      Amount of time for session

Competency 2: Establishing the Coaching Agreement

·      Establish the success measures, “what outcomes would you wish for this session.

·      Nail the outcome(s) SMARTly

·      Avoid calling it ‘problem, issue, challenge’, instead say, ‘there is a lot there’

·      Keep in mind the big goal and the session goal.

Competency 3: Establishing trust and intimacy with the client

·      Match pace, tone and Non verbals

·       

Competency 4: Coaching Presence

·      Go into the coaching conversation ‘without knowing’; stay curious

·      If clients language includes ‘should’ – it is a watch out: is it coming from outside. Explore this.

·      Put your intuition out there without attachment: offer your hypothesis. If client picks it, work with it, else let it pass.

Competency 5: Active Listening

·      80:20 rule: always!

·      Hear it, see it, sense it.

Competency 6: Powerful Questioning

·      Don’t drive, flow with the client.

·      Don’t use compound questions, avoid ‘stack ups’: trust your questions, make them work for you.

·      Focus on the WHO

·      A question should be evocative, example: “who do you need to be, to do this?” and timed! Boom.

·      “what do you need to be to be disciplined?”

·      Avoid ‘leading’ questions.

·      Don’t pick: listen to what is being said, especially the emotion: pick the one ‘on the spot’ and proceed.

·      Whenever a client asks a question reverse it. Example: ‘Really, how do you think we could find out” or ‘what do you think”.

·      Sharpen your questions: drop the preamble and the weasel.

·      Seek permission, before entering into sensitive areas.

·      To, “I don’t know, ask, “how would you know?”

·      To, “I am not able, ask “how would you get able?’.

·      To, I am not productive, ask, If you were productive what would that mean?

Competency 7: Direct Communication

·      Flex to clients style

·      Match your client’s formality or informality

·      Ask/Check-in: Are we progressing?

Competency 8: Creating Awareness

·      Raise the awareness even higher, shift client forward.

Competency 9: Designing Actions

Competency 10: Planning and Goal Setting

·      Wrap it up aligned to competency 2

Competency 11: Managing Progress and Accountability

In the video below is a a few questions you can use to help client gain powerful insights.